Yaay me!

Right on track today, had a seeded bagel with cucumber this morning with a glass of mango and passion fruit smoothie, and my coffee of course! Lunch was a wholemeal roll with cucumber again, a half a banana and a pint of water ( boring lunch but it was handy) and for early dinner me and the baby both had lemon and herbs marinated grilled chicken with steamed carrots and broccoli. Haven't been snacking on anything today which is excellent, after my two hour aerobics workout I am now how ever enjoying a glass of white wine. 

Driving lesson went pretty good today, got to drive off from home and all the way back, including that horrible tunnel bit where yuo can't see any cars coming from the right cos there's not even a mirror to guide you. Clutch control is getting a lot better now, not lifting my whole foot off the clutch anymore which makes the whole deal a lot sweeter. Another thing I need ot work on is the handbreak, I'm not pushing it to the floor which makes slow starts on the trafficlights, need to work on that. Next week will have a double lesson as an hour just isn't long enough to get any real work done. Just when you get into it it's time to drive back home, so from now on will do two hours at a time. Hopefully that will speed up the process and help me get my head around it all.

Another thing that was putting me off today was that the baby took an awful fall off the couch just before I was due to leave for my lesson. I shat myself thinking she broke her neck. I was reading a magazine on the couch and she kept jumping on me and crawling on top of me, and all of a sudden she was off the couch and on her head on the floor with the rest of her body still hanging off the couch! It was horrible. She cried straight away and all her bits were still attached and nothing seemed broken and in a few moments she was back giggling, although she did have a wee bump on her forehead. I felt so bad. She's had falls before and bumps and bruces, but it still doesn't get any easier to see her take a fall like that.

Tomorrow will do an hour and a half at the gym. Have to stay in all day tomorrow as our gas meter is getting exchanged. Hopefully that will be early in the morning and finished quickly so don't have to waste the day indoors. Won't be holding my breathe for that tho. 

Gagging myself very necessary.

It's the end of the week for me again. Thank god for that. Have been extremely knackered and definitely need a day in my pj's doing mostly nothing. Have a driving lesson tomorrow evening, but other than that have no plans and am very happy about it.

This whole no cheese thing has backfired, as I find myself eating everything but. Everyday I decide what I can and can't eat and end up finding loop-holes in my plan and end up with a mouthful of carrotcake!

The temptation is so much worse in work as there's food around, lots of it! I don't even have a sweet tooth, but there I am looking at a bit of cake like it gave me superpowers!

Went to the gym tonight after work to punish myself, even tho have been sleepwalking for a few days with the lack of shut-eye.  Managed to rid 650 calories before I felt so exhausted I wanted to vomit and was near collapsing.. I am of course exaggerating, but that's what I felt like. But tomorrow night I will be rested and ready to burn off major body fat!

Have to really stay on track now, the weather is heating up and people are wearing t-shirts and skirts, so need to get on the band-wagon. Funny thing today, I guess it really shows ho the weather can just change in Sotland, left work and it was absolutely gorgeous and sunny, was at the gym for just over hour and a half and decided to keep my flipflops on for the journey home rather than putting on high heeled boots, and got outside in my t-shirt and peeky toes, and it had just stopped raining, people were wearing wintercoats and I looked like I was back from holidays in the sun. Walked home with my toes catching the cold not to mention the wet, and must have looked like a right eegit. On top of that, had completely forgotten that those flipflops are my gym shower flippies for a reason, they're not made for long walks as they give me blisters.

Tomorrow is payday,woohoo! It means I will be getting my white skinny's on very shortly! 

For now will sink to the bottom of my sofa and let my head fall down, as for me it is the weekend!

The boobs that went south for a lifelong winter.

First day off cheese. Almost accidentally slipped twice in work while cutting cheese. Just very nonchalantly went to put some in my mouth and before it could properly touch the tongue, caught myself and  spat it out. It's only the first day and already I feel like I really can't do this!

Had pasta without cheese, yuk! ..Ok maybe not yuk, but definitely missing the essence. I've heard that eating a lot of cheese can give you nightmares, but not being able to have any is an even bigger nightmare altogether. It really does just bring an average thing to a whole new level. For me anyway. I would happily live in a house of cheese, the smellier the better, and eat my way out of there. 

Have to stop thinking about cheese, it's actually getting to me now.

Another worrying thing is, the frown-lines on my forehead are getting more defined every day it seems, and I find myself considering botox, which is very out of character for me.  It's not even the needle I'm worried about, (not to mention the dent it would make in my payslip), but the thought of injection poison in to me, is just not that appealing. And seeing how wrong it can go on some people puts my right off it aswell, but to get rid of the two lines that plague me would be a very welcome change to my appearance. 

Funny thing is, I've always been a bit of a baby face, and the fact that I'm a shortarse doesn't help either, but to be a wrinkly babyface jusr isn't right. I blame my dad, it's his forehead I have inherited and I'm sad to say, I think it has been passed on to my own daughter as well. I think I might be getting a tad vain in my old age. Someone needs to smack that right out of me!

I never really cared too much about the way I looked before having a baby. I think the whole reproducing process makes you see this is the best you will ever look so you might as well make the best of it. Too bad that whole way of thinking only comes after most things have started making their way south and there's no miracle potion to spring them back up to where they left from. Still, it has made me more a woman than I've ever been before, just wish I still had the perky boobs to finish of the package. Oh well, can't have it all I guess. 

"Ladies, enjoy your assets as long as you can, when they're gone, only a plastic surgeon can bring back the youthful perk to the parts that were no more."

Spring time baffling.

The busy weekend is behind us.

Just put the baby to bed and having a cup of coffee and enjoying the silence.

Was busy in work all weekend and had to work couple extra hours last night, but after work had a text message waiting on the phone saying the baby was staying over night at her grand parents and the lads were waiting for me in the pub. Had a few cold ones and came home with the hubby to some quality time and had a cracking sleep on top and today in work was a laugh so well happy now. 

It's such an exciting time in the baby's life now, starting to learn words and even more so interesting as she is being brought up bilingual so working out which language her mutters are. She says a few so far that we can understand. "dad", she says mum in finnish "äiti" and she can say "ta ta" for good bye, and "nana" for gran and I think she is starting to say thank you in finnish which is also very cool. It'll probably be longer for her to start talking or to make sense as she will most likely confuse the two for a while, but the main thing is she is learning. She goes on these little rants all the time when she just talks and talks for ages telling you stories like you are meant to understand what she is saying, it's so cute. 

She is suffered from a terrible nappy rash for a week or two which is finally clearing up. I've been trying to leave her without her nappy on when ever possible but there's accidents to follow from the freedom. She peed once on the carpet and twice in her bed when I left her to play for a couple minutes, well actually it was more like seconds. Tonight after her bath I left her for a few minutes and then went to put cream on her bum before putting a nappy on and was greeted with a big poo. Still rather my hand then my cream carpet! 

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous for a couple of days now, people wearing t-shirts and sun shining from a clear blue sky, obviosly I haven't been able to enjoy any of it as I have been stuck in a roasting hot kitchen, but even after I finish it's still nice and warm. On nights like these I really hate the fact that we haven't got a garden to sit in and relax and watch the sun  go down. 

I was watching the baby sleep tonight for a while. It's so hard to believe that she is almost a year old. The baby face really is almost over. And it had gone by so fast. You really do have to make the most of the time you have with your baby when she is still little as before you know it , she'll by up on her feet and getting more and more independent every day. 

It's funny, before I had her I had never really spent any time with new born babies and a part of me was so terrified that I wouldn't know what to do or how to handle her, but as soon as she was born the mother in me was born as well and instantly I knew what to do. I'm so proud of myself for the way I have handled everything actually, I coped really well and everything just sort of fell in to place once she was here. We have been so lucky to have been blessed with such an easy baby tho, she's never been a big crier and she's just been a pleasure to have. Yeh, she's  definitely a keeper!

Motherhood has  definitely made me a better person. I'm more patient, more understanding, more of everything really. And I don't let petty little things get me down and there's not an awful lot that shocks me anymore. 

There's been a few things that I wasn't prepared for tho. The guilt for one. You feel guilty for things that you want to do fr yourself. Selfish. I know I shouldn't, and its' important to do things for just yourself as well, but you can't help but feel a tad guilty giving up precious time with your baby to go the gym or to meet with yuor friends, but you have to do it, for your sanity alone. And coming home to your wee one feels all the more special. Another feeling I didn't expect to have was fear. Fear over something happening to your child. Especially in this day and age, when you can't walk out side your door without worrying that someone attacks you with an axe for your pocket money. I have stopped watching the news almost all together as it is just too upsetting. The bigger she gets the more I fear, as I realize that the less control over her I have and I have to let her grow up, but all I want to do is keep her safe. I dread the first time she ever asks to go play outside without me holding her hand. Sometimes when I'm alone in the house and she is in bed I still go and check she is still breathing because of all the stories about cot death we hear about. I know it's silly, and she's too old now anyway to just stop breathing, but I still do it. Every time in the morning when I wake up before her I run to her room to check the same thing in my half a sleep panic state of mind because normally she is always up before me. And every time I curse myself because I end op waking her up even tho she would have slept later if I hadn't ran into her room. 

But there you go, so is the life of mum. 

Three point turns and around and round we go.

It has become painfully obvious to me why it sucks to do your driving lessons after you have moved out of the comfort of your mummy and daddy's house; there's no new car as a reward at the end of it! I have been drooling over used mini coopers online, stating to myself that I actually can not picture myself driving any other car.

 Maybe an old beetle if I had to, but mini is the car for me. It's petite like me and fits to small spaces, is easy to maneuvor and oh so pretty to look at!

At the moment byuing one is absolutely out of the question as it takes a hell of a lot of planning and holding on to your purse with teeth and claws to make it to the end of the month with a penny in your pocket. Must get to saving mode. Tho have so many things that need paying off before a mini even gets on the list that it'll be a dream only for a very long time!

"But look how pretty..." 

Yesterdays driving lesson was about three point turns. Still don't have excellent clutch control. Think I will have to glue my heel to the floor because for some reason I am always tempted to lift my whole foot off the pedal. Every time I make a mistake I feel like taking atantrum like the baby does when things don't go her way. My instructor is brilliant tho, he is so patient and I feel comfortable with him, so that makes thing a lot easier. After having the baby I feel like I'm more able to keep my cool and not walk out off the car if I can't do something. 5 years back and I would have been running amok at anyone trying to tell me what to do I think. I haven't done anything stupid yet, as soon as I gain proper clutch control I think it'll be a breeze. The thing is tho that you don't realize, the driving is easy, it's really only the manuevoring that actually takes time to workout in your head and learn how to do. Once I get in control of that one pedal I'll be cruising with confidence! 

 

In other news, have decided to give up cheese for an experimental week long period. This will take place starting monday morning. Will probably gorge on it all weekend to try and keep myself going for a whole week without. I reckon I have lost a stone by the end of it. Bets are being taken now. A stone might be a bit of a stretch, maybe a half a stone.  I shall try my very best to stick to my guns and not have any, in any sort of way, won't even smell cheese. Well actually the little torturer inside might make me smell cheese in work, but at home there will be no cheese in sight to even tempt me.

Who knows, if it works I might have reward myself with a pair of size 6 jeans!.. there goes the no shopping plan then. Tho if we really want to rationalize this than I will probably save the money on not buying cheese! Result. Sold!

No but seriously, not trying to fit into a size 6, quite happy with a nice fitting pair of 8's.

Need to keep some meat on the bones.

Right moving on,

Heroes returned to our telly sets tonight and I missed the first episode as I was at the gym, well annoyed. The hubby is watching the second one now and I can't bring myself to watch it as half of it won't make any sense to me before I see the first one. Aargh.

Hopefully will catch a re-run tomorrow and get up-to-date and the heroes front. 

Last day off tomorrow, hopefully it'll be a nice sunny day and can get out and about with the baby.

The spring clean is half done!

Had such a busy day today, running from place to place with errands and 

Blaah blaah.

The silence is broken. 

Turns out it doesn't take a meteor to keep me quiet.  All it needed was a faulty battery on my macbook to keep me from logging on. All taken care of now. Picking up a freeby new battery from Apple today, turns out the battery has been faulty from the day it was born so I am entitled to a free one. 

Been up since 6.30 this morning. The bambino decided it was no time to be sleeping and so I have been doing ironing all morning and tidying up the house. Those dirty windows re still smirking at me, think I will finally have to take a crack at them today.

Friday night was meant to be going to cinema with a friend to cheer her up  after a slightly messy break up. Seems that a few bottles of wine and a bit of dancing does the job too. So never made it to cinema ended up destroying two bottles of wine each and going to a night club, and bumping into some guys from my work and my friend ended up taking one of them home, so she is very much over her break up! Instead of sulking she is now exploring the benefits of singledom and seems to be having a laugh doing so, so good on her. Tho feel a little odd hearing intimate details of someone you used to take the piss out of daily.

Off for 4 days now, so have to get loads done, gonna do a massive spring clean in the house, get the baby's birthday planning on the way and do all the bits and bobs that I have been putting off ages. 

So annoyed there's is no longer a shop down stairs to pick up your wee things like toilet roll and milk and the rest, every time you need something you actually have to make a journey of it to the shops. 

Better hit the shower and get ourselves in gear to run all our errands. Tonight after all else is done get a few hours at the gym and then practice for the theory test. 

In the words of Macka B " So many thing I gotta do...." .

Out and about.

 Took the baby for a check up to see how she has grown and show off her new walking skills. She is 76cm and 22lbs12oz. (10,230kg) So on track and getting bigger.

Went to work after to see how everyone got on with their hangovers yesterday, happy to say no one suffered majorly part from our very own wino who still looked ill today. 

Cooked two meals, cleaned the house and even made some banana muffins, so been a busy beaver all day long. The plan was to hit the gym after making dinner for the hubby, but instead he's away to the pub to lend a shoulder to a friend who just split up with his grilfriend. So Davina McCall will be getting medieval on my behind in the name of toned sexy bodies. 

This dvd is pure gold by the way! Not only is it great fun to do it actually works wonders. In the first week I did it 3 times and lost 5lbs! It tones and immediately changes the way you look and hold yourself. The biggest improvement I saw was on my posture, I actually carry myself a lot better now. And when you are 5'3" you can't really afford to slouch.  The leg section still kills me, every time I do it, it's like bambie learning how to walk afterwards for at least two days. The best part is, you can pick and choose, mix and match, chop and change according to what you feel like doing. I usually do the warm up, the aerobics, the abs, the boxing the cool down, and for special work out days throw in the legs or the pump or both depending on how I feel and how much I want to torture myself. All the sections are about 20 minutes long and they really are so much fun to do that you don't want to stop even tho the sweat is pouring out of you!

So that's plan for tonight, after that still have a big pile of ironing to tackle. Oh it's a wonderful life. :) 

Tomorrow window washing.

Take it all, but you won't take my cheese!

Missed a gorgeous day outside today by lying in bed feeling hungover. 

Had such a ball last night, dancing and having a good aul laugh with the gang. 20 of us turned up so it was a good mix of people all in good spirits!

First time since having the baby I stayed out til finishing time and was still full of energy when the clubs closed, but jumped into a taxi and came home to have drunken munchies. Had a bagel with salami and cheese and a cup of Earl Grey and burned me tongue and the rest of me mouth so badly that my taste buds went on immediate strike and are showing no signs of returning. 

The diet starts again tomorrow. No alcohol, no white bread or pasta and back on the exercise pony and plenty of water to keep hydrated. My other diet rules include portion control, always start with a salad, eating slower so the brain and body has time to register when I am full to avoid over-eating. And the mighty important, no snacking in between meals. And healthy swaps help a great deal. The plan is to get rid of the last bit of muffin top and lovehandle by june as I'm planning to wear a gorgeous dress for my cousin's wedding in a comfortable size 8.  I'm not looking to just fit in it, I can do that now, but fit in it perfect, with absolutely no chance of spillage or awkward bumps making appearances. I reckon a loss of 5-8lbs. will do it. So nothing major, no hunger strike or eating dissorder needed here, just a bit of moving and grooving and a bit less cheese-ing. 

I am actually pretty sure that if I just stayed off eating cheese for a few weeks the 8lbs would drop away without doing any exercise at all, as I do love my cheeses, but I really don't wanna lose weight in a way that I can't keep up afterwards because the weight is only gonna creep back on after and most likely with a few extra pounds. And it really wouldn't be possible for me to give up cheese anyway. It just isn't possible. And I eat good anyway, I'm allowed to have this one thing! Damn it.

 

Back in shape.

This was written on friday, but the laptop kept cutting off so I thought I had lost it and couldn't even log in for a few days at all, as the computer would stay on maybe a minute and a half at a time..Anyways.

Back to me old self again today, some might say not so much an improvement, but screw those people, I hate them anyway.

My new partner in crime in work is a breeze to work with and even tho we were busy it all seemed to go perfectly calm and had a ball and didn't mind the two hours over-time I put in, at all.

It was the first full day for the hubby looking after the wee yin since she has found her feet and he was absolutely knackered by the end of it. What I found amazing was that the house was spotless when I walked in, so good on him, well done. Couldn't ask for more. 

I'm turning out to be quite the party planner, given that it's all very short notice, I have enrolled around 20 people for tomorrow night for fun and games. Tho I suppose not everyone has to plan their nights out as carefully as I do, as they have no commitments at home, but still pretty chuffed with myself. The boss is away on holidays so I don't have to face the dissaproving looks of sending a bunch of hungover people to work on monday morning. myself excluded as I will be suffering mine in the company of my little miss sunshine. I wonder who's off worse? :S

When the boss is away the little chef's shall play. :)

Hope monday night I won't be feeling too bad as it's time to get back on the horse when it comes to exercising, this week hasn't been my best so far and that bikini body doesn't just happen after having kids. 

I gave myself 9 months to get back to my pre-baby shape, I figured it took me 9 months to get there so 9 months seemed the logical time to recover the bump aswell. I did make it. Tho your shape does slightly change from childbirth and going from a B-cup to a DD and back makes it's mark and the only way sadly is south, but in time you learn to love your new shape and putting your body thru all that does result in a beautiful little person so you can't stay too angry with nature. You hear all these stories from women saying " the weight just melted off." This definitely wasn't the case for me, and for a while I did get a little bit depressed about it, but I also knew that if you're not happy with yourself, then do something about it, and I did. And I have to say I did eat a bit more than necessary, after all you don't really have to eat for two and my choices at the end of my pregnancy were leaning more towards comfort food than apples and oranges. But lesson learned and now fitting comfortably back into my skinny jeans I'm very happy indeed, little bit of lovehandle to shift and that page 3 spot is mine! After all, no one loves a muffin top!

Hallelujah hallelujah!

Feeling better again, tho I did wander into work today slightly zombied out with an echo of " why are you so quiet today?" where ever I would turn. My plan this morning was to stick to plain flavours and simple food not to overwhelm the system and end up chemically imbalanced ready for a relapse, but no such thing happened and by noon I had moved onto eating everything and anything. I finished on time for once and headed straight to the gym to work my bazooky off and the sweat was pouring out of me, buckets full! Excellent workout and feeling mighty knackered now, so well done me! Think I will have a good sleep tonight. 

Trying to organize a work night out for sunday, desperately in need of letting me hair down and perhaps even getting a wee bit jiggy on the dancefloor. Have some new clothes that need taking out into town before I get accused of not making the most of my ever growing wardrobe. Secret promise for next month is no shopping for clothes. ( Tho I am keeping it on the down low as it's easier to cheat when you don't tell anyone.) I have already got my eye on a few new garments, but am trying to be really good and not spend money on clothes. What is it that no matter how many clothes you have, it always seems there's nothing to wear? There's a brillant new add from brantano where they showcase woman's logic in bying shoes. She picks up a pair she likes and the brain scan shows how she justifies this particular buy. It reads; " It matches the frying pan."  

Excellent.  

Need I say more? 

Scrambled.

With me head so far up to my backside I have written today off as a miss and stayed in my jammies. No tooth brushing necessary. Last night was taxing. The baby is teething again and she definitely isn't keeping quiet about it. Not that I blame her, but when you go to sleep with a headache and wake up to a full-blown migraine with a screaming baby and your only relief is infant paracetamol in strawberry flavour, you are not far from exchanging the fruit of your loins to the next person you see in possession of painkillers. 

Off for four days and first day meant to be back, and I'm off sick, not good going. In my nightmare of a morning I also woke up my boss with a phonecall and in his half a sleep state of mind he claimed he wasn't sleeping but was just about to drive into the shower before heading to work. 

7 a.m. I gave up trying to sleep and started drinking excessive amounts of coffee in a bid to stay awake for the baby. It all backfired terribly, as my mother-in-law came to pick her up to give me a couple of hours to sleep, and by that time I was so wired up I was grinding my teeth with the mere thought of sleep. 

So instead I have been watching crap tv with the blinds down, wearing my fake Gucci shades bought from Addis Ababa few years back, as they so perfectly keep away all ray of light trying to get through the window. Result.

As for tomorrow...all I can say is, It's a new dawn, it's a new day..and please oh please let me feel good.

Plain waffle.

It's one of these days where no matter how much you feel like you are doing nothing really gets done and the things you have spent hours doing your hyper-active barely 11 month old daughter seems to undo in seconds. You see, she has just learned how to walk and nothing in the house is out of reach for her anymore, it's all fair game as far as she is concerned. I swear she winds me up on purpose. No matter who tells me that she doesn't know any better, the big cheesy grin on her face tells me she knows exatly what she is doing and loves every minute of it, and how much it gets on mummy's tits!

Ever tried telling of a 10 month old? It just doesn't work. No matter how pissed off you are by her behaviour, just the tiniest smile on her face makes you laugh at yourself for letting your little angel (or devil, I haven't decided yet.) get to you.  She seems to do everything in leaps.  She got her first tooth followed by 4 more in one go, then she got up to her knees and straight away she was off crawling and shortly started cruising the furniture and now  two weeks after taking her first steps she seems to want to run already. Everyone always told me she will grow up so fast, but jaysus were they right, my little innocent baby is no more, instead I have this action packed trouble maker who some days I just want to tie to her bed so I can get 5 minutes of peace, but she is just so much fun I can't complain. 

Saying all this, I know I've given up a lot having a baby as young as I have, like the freedom to get up and go when I feel like it, travelling the world, nights out and parties have to be planned months before hand, money...boy do they take a lot of your money!, but for the first time, every day has meaning. Every morning I wake up and have a reason to get out of bed. And a smile on my face as I'm greeted by my  little girl grinning in her cot under a pile of dirty clothes and stuffed toys she decided to redecorate with. :)

And there's nothing I love more than having a lazy sunday in bed with my husband and our baby girl, giggling and playing happy as larry. 

Right, enough day dreaming, back to ironing...

Blogging it!

No longer will I suffer the emotion overload all by my lonesome, oh no, from now on I shall unload it on to thee, the unsuspecting bloggers of the world and you shall be my allies for better or for worse til my internet cuts off or a big rock or maybe some sort of meteor crashes onto my laptop and forever keeps me from logging on again...but lets face it, the chances of that happening are slim to none, so lend an ear or an eye full, and I'll begin blogging it.